Susan Granger At The Movies

Jungle Cruise

Encouraged by the success of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise, Disney launches the new fantasy/adventure “Jungle Cruise,” based on the popular theme park attraction.

It begins in 1916 London, where intrepid botanist/explorer Lily Houghton (Emily Blunt) sneaks into a snobbish science society to steal an arrowhead thought to be the key to finding the Tears of the Moon, a sacred tree hidden in the Amazon jungle whose petals have miraculous healing powers.

Under armor-clad Aguirre (Edgar Ramirez), Spanish Conquistadors once sought after it, betraying its indigenous guardians who saved them from the menacing jungle. Now Germany’s evil Prince Joachim (Jesse Plemons) covets the mythic arrowhead totem that’s in Lily’s possession.

When feisty, feminist Lily and her fussbudget brother McGregor (Jack Whitehall) arrive in Brazil, they hire huckster Capt. Frank Wolff (Dwayne Johnson) to transport them upriver on his beat-up steamboat. Frank wears a hat like Humphrey Bogart’s in “The African Queen,” while Lily wears Katharine Hepburn-like trousers.

She calls him “Skippy” and he calls her “Pants,” cueing the effervescent romantic comedy aspect. Like “Indiana Jones,” she’s the swashbuckler; he’s often the comic relief. Their charismatic, odd-couple chemistry is somewhat reminiscent of Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner in “Romancing the Stone.”

This film also marks the emergence of Disney’s first openly gay character. As McGregor, British comedian Jack Whitehall is hilarious.

Working from a sprawling, overly complicated script by Glen Ficcara, John Requa and Michael Green, it’s helmed by Spanish director Jaume Collet-Sera (“The Shallows”), along with VFX supervisors Jim Berney & Jake Morrison, who make Frank’s pet jaguar, Proxima, uncannily real.

Disney’s Imagineers have already incorporated playful new scenes and culturally diverse characters into its Adventureland ride at Disneyland and Disney World, while removing racially insensitive tropes. Gone are the tribal headhunters, shrunken-head salesman and negative depictions of natives. Remaining is an abundance of corny jokes/bad puns about elephant trunks and hippo ears, related by various skippers.

 

The White Lotus

As the plot of Mike White’s new HBO series “The White Lotus” unfolds, it’s as if “Fantasy Island” merged with “The Love Boat.”

In the opening shot, a casket is being loaded onto a plane. It’s a mysteriously ominous beginning that soon shifts to a tropical island where smiling Armond (Murray Bartlett), the smarmy resort manager, and his newly hired assistant Lani (Jolene Purdy) prepare to welcome new guests as they arrive at the luxurious White Lotus Hotel.

Predictably, there are newlyweds: enormously wealthy, entitled Shane (Jake Lacy) and his bride Rachel (Alexandra Daddario), who were promised the Pineapple Suite but now have to settle for a second-best but still-magnificent, ocean-front accommodation.

Unflappable Nicole Mossbacher (Connie Britton) is a famous tech/lifestyle guru, accompanied by her nervous husband Mark (Steve Zahn), who fears he has testicular cancer, her sardonic college sophomore daughter Olivia (Sydney Sweeney), Olivia’s drug-toting pal Paula (Brittany O’Grady); and tech-obsessed teenage Quinn (Fred Hechinger), whom Olivia bullies mercilessly.

Last but certainly not least is needy, self-centered Tanya McQuoid (Jennifer Coolidge), who plans to scatter her mother’s ashes at sea. Complaining of an aching back, Tanya immediately befriends Belinda (Natasha Rothwell), the spa manager, ignoring the guest/staff boundary by inviting Belinda to join her for dinner and then promising to provide financial backing for Belinda’s own wellness center.

Petty privilege and quirky dysfunction prevail but, unfortunately, the stereotypically splashy characterizations are shallow and superficial. Which is surprising since Mike White’s “Enlightened” — also on HBO — was quite the opposite. Watching White skewer the guests’ toxic behavior is a mixed-bag of economic and gender inequality.

“Nobody cedes their privilege,” Mark astutely observes. “It goes against human nature. We’re all just trying to win the game of life.”

Filmed at the Hawaii’s Four Seasons Resort Maui at Wailea, the production cast and crew were sequestered during the pandemic — and, presumably, duly pampered.

 

The Birthday Cake

There may be a great deal of competition in this category, but I nominate Jimmy Giannopoulos’s “The Birthday Cake” as the worst mob movie ever made!

Set in Brooklyn, it begins with the 10th anniversary of Giovanni’s father’s death. Giovanni (Shiloh Fernandez) dutifully goes home and dons a suit to continue the family tradition of delivering the titular cake, baked by his widowed mother Sophia (Lorraine Bracco), to the home of his Uncle Angelo (Val Kilmer), the local Italian/American Mafia boss.

Festive lights mark the month as December, near Christmas, as Gio makes a couple of stops, including a brief flirtation with Diane (Clara McGregor) and an interlude in church with friendly Father Kelly (Ewan McGregor).

Everyone is trying to locate Gio’s bad-tempered cousin Leo (Emory Cohen), recently released from prison and perhaps involved with drug-dealing, which alerts the FBI to inquire his whereabouts.

Then there’s a memorable ride with a Puerto-Rican taxi driver (Luis Guzman), along with a cameo appearance by Marla Maples (Donald Trump’s ex-wife).

Once he arrives at Uncle Angelo’s, Gio is surrounded by family: ailing Uncle Carmine (Paul Sorvino), Uncle Ricardo (William Fichtner) and Uncle Tiny Tony (Nick Vallelonga).

(Unable to use his voice because of an ongoing battle with throat cancer, Val Kilmer’s lines are subtitled, but his presence is still charismatic).

Director/composer Jimmy Giannopoulos wrote the cliché-riddled screenplay with Diomedes Raul Bermudez & Shiloh Fernandez. He’s linked romantically with Scottish model/actress Clara McGregor, which may explain why he was able to cast her father Ewan McGregor, who, apparently, filmed only three days to complete his pivotal role.

(A while ago, Clara staged a public spat when Ewan divorced her mother, Eve Mavrakis, to be with his “Fargo” co-star Mary Elizabeth Winstead, with whom he now has a child.)

Gossip aside: If you wanna see a coherent crime movie, try one from Guy Ritchie or Martin Scorsese.

 

Susan Granger is a product of Hollywood. Her natural father, S. Sylvan Simon, was a director and producer at M.G.M. and Columbia Pictures. Her adoptive father, Armand Deutsch, produced movies at M.G.M.

As a child, Susan appeared in movies with Abbott & Costello, Red Skelton, Lucille Ball, Margaret O’Brien, and Lassie. She attended Mills College in California, studying journalism with Pierre Salinger, and graduated from the University of Pennsylvania with highest honors in journalism.

During her adult life, Susan has been on radio and television as an anchorwoman and movie and drama critic, syndicating her reviews and articles around the world, including Video Librarian. She has appeared on American Movie Classics and Turner Classic Movies. In 2017, her book 150 Timeless Movies was published by Hannacroix Creek Books.

Her website is www.susangranger.com. Follow her on Twitter @susangranger.