Weston is under attack by flamingos. As if we didn't have enough to worry about already.
Swarms of the pretty but ungainly birds have descended around town for the last several days. They gather on one lawn or another for about 24 hours, then migrate elsewhere.
And they're wearing surgical masks.
It's all part of a creative fundraising campaign by the Weston Middle School PTO, whose normal efforts to generate revenue this time of year have been disrupted for the same reason everything else is.
Flock your friends
Here is how it works.
For a $25 donation, you can arrange to have a flock of 10 flamingos delivered in the dead of night (or thereabouts) to the yard of a family member, neighbor, or friend. Probably a foe too, but you didn't hear that from us.
For $50, you can go full metal flamingo and send in 40 for a landing. And yes, despite a common misconception, flamingos fly. See below.
You can order online at westongetflocked.org. It's that simple. The Flamingo Ninja team will take care of everything.
Maybe you don't want to get flocked
Maybe you're just not in the mood. If so, on the website you can get Anti-Flocking insurance for free. You can still make a flock-free donation, of course.
The program runs until May 15.
Fun flamingo facts
Flamingos do fly. Fast, too. They can easily hit 35 miles per hour.
They are monogamous, and lay only one egg each year. If anything happens to that egg, no flamingo for you. Not for at least a year, anyway.
The plastic pink lawn flamingo was invented by a man named Don Featherstone. Featherstone.
There are several terms for a flock of flamingos. Purists call it a stand. Those with a little more style call it a flamboyance.
Enjoy your flamboyance.
Flamingos attacked the Town Hall campus on Tuesday.
Weston Today thanks Sharon Ferraro and Carrie Shaffer.